This year, I'll be sharing the notes from each month's devotional on the blog... just in case there's someone who missed the meeting or who wants to go back & reread afterward.
September Devotional
by Sarah
At our Steering Team retreat this summer, the devotional sign-up sheet went around the room & I passed it on without a second glance because, um, I don't really do devotionals. Then the sheet made it's second round & September was the only month available. And I suddenly realized that ok, so devotionals aren't in my comfort zone. But this year is about brave, right?
So here I am.
This year's theme, "be you, bravely," is about pushing yourself. It's about going a little bit beyond your normal. It's about doing a new thing. Our theme verse reads:
Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing!
Isaiah 43:18
So at risk of getting a bit vulnerable (because we're being brave, remember?), I'd like to tell you a quick story.
In 2006, when I was 28 years old, my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer. She died 10 months later. And y'all? It was really terrible. Like, REALLY terrible. I tried & tried but I couldn't fix her. And when she died, I was devastated.
A year later, I was still reeling. I went from talking to my mom on the phone 3 times a day to nothing & I didn't even know how to process that. Then I found out I was pregnant & it felt like maybe, just maybe, things were looking up. Except then I had a miscarriage. And then next year, another miscarriage. And the year after that, another miscarriage. And by this time, I was a scary, bitter person. Like the kind of person you avoid because, yeah, that girl? She's got the issues.
So then in 2011, I was doing fertility treatments & jumping through all these hoops & my husband was still hanging in there, & I got pregnant again. And this time, it actually worked. My daughter Rose was born in September of that year.
When Rose was 5 months old, I found myself in a MOPS meeting. I was still in a bad place emotionally... I had this baby that I loved more than anything, but my mother was still gone & I had no idea what I was doing & nothing was like I always thought it would be. So I walk into this MOPS meeting & there were all these moms who really had themselves together. They're laughing & cute & nice & happy & skinny & pretty much awesome. And I thought "dude, this is not going to work. These people are WAY too happy." I felt like a total fake... like at any moment, someone was going to tap me on the shoulder & escort me out.
But then when I got home that day & started thinking about it, something happened. I realized that if I was ever going to progress, to change, to move forward at all, I HAD to take a chance. So I came back to MOPS the next month. I showed up. I took a risk.
There have been times when I just feel awkward. There have been moments when I feel totally disconnected, like I don't fit in. I think if we're honest, everyone in this room has had those feelings, even if we hide it really well. Whenever you open yourself up to new people, or a new group, or new experiences, there is risk involved. Risk brings vulnerability.
But when I came back to MOPS, I found something totally unexpected, something fabulous & healing & beautiful. I found relationships... real, honest relationships.
So this morning, I just want to challenge you -- & myself -- to do a brave thing this year. You get to decide what your brave thing is... whether it's coming to next month's meeting, or inviting someone else, or picking up the phone & making that phone call you've been dreading, or coming to a mom's night out even if you want to stay home & rock your yoga pants. Let's gather our courage & our guts & try something new.
In closing, I want to read an excerpt from
the feather handout that you'll find here... I think it's beautiful & so appropriate:
A bird will fail to experience all it was made for if it fails to fly.
{The same is true for us}
May this year change your life.
May you hear whispers of hope stirring in your soul.
May MOPS remind you to breathe in & breathe out,
because we're all in this together.
The first step may test our bravery, but courage is the key around our necks.
Be you, Bravely.